Childhood Friend of the Zenith
Chapter 381: Good Work (2)

“I do know.”

I had to hide my shock when I heard Father’s response.

However, I expected that answer.

I believed that only Father knew of my mother’s whereabouts. I stared into Father’s eyes and asked him another question.

“…Then where is she? Where is my mother?”

I needed to find out where she was.

It wasn’t simply because I wanted to see my mother, but more because all my current problems related back to her.

I learned that a beast was inside my body, and that mother was being called the second calamity of the world.

She was also known as the Ruler of Ten Thousand Worlds.

The most important thing I needed to learn was…

The Celestial Sword.

Before the Celestial Sword was about to leave the world for good, it was my mother who embraced me and spoke warmly to me.

There was no way that I could forget.

Even if I wanted to forget her, I couldn’t forget that voice.

My mother told me to absorb the Celestial Sword, and I listened to her.

It was possible that my mother knew how I could meet the Celestial Sword again.

“If you know anything, please tell me.”

“…”

Instead of giving me a response, Father only continued to stare at me.

I wondered how he could remain expressionless, but focusing on his eyes, I was able to see a tiny reaction.

He is reacting.

Father’s pupils were slightly shaking.

I patiently waited for Father’s response.

After a short moment of silence, Father spoke.

“…Why do you want to know that?”

I frowned upon his response.

Why do I want to know?

I couldn’t help but feel that his response sounded quite absurd.

“Is it really that strange for a child to want to know of their mother’s whereabouts?”

“…”

“…I’m not asking because I’m simply curious, but I have the right to at least be told of it eventually.”

How long has it been since I raised my voice against Father? It was the first time ever since my regression, and I had barely even done it in my past life.

However, it was justifiable in this current situation.

It was something I was never aware of up until the day I died in my past life.

If Mother is really alive, and whether she was associated with my current problems or not, I had to know.

“Surely you could tell me if you know.”

Father remained silent despite my impatience. That silence only made me more frustrated.

“My Lord…”

“What will you do after learning of your mother’s whereabouts?”

I paused at Father’s sudden question, but I responded right after.

“I will go.”

“To where your mother is?”

“Yes.”

I didn’t lie to him.

I answered honestly, giving him what he wanted.

“…That place isn’t somewhere you can go as you desire.”

“Why? Is it because it’s in the Abyss?”

“…”

“Or if that’s not it, is it because I have to prioritize becoming the Young Lord? And if that isn’t it either… “

The eyes of my father, who I rarely was able to see from up close, seemed clearer than usual today.

“Is it perhaps because Mother is a calamity?”

“…!”

As soon as I said those words…

Cgggk-!

Heat exploded out from Father’s body.

I almost took a step back due to his powerful wave of Qi, but I was able to endure it.

I don’t know about any other day, but today, I refused to be intimidated.

Father’s gaze became extremely sharp as he continuously exuded heat.

Was he frowning, or was he letting out his anger?

I couldn’t read him as I wasn’t used to Father’s expressions.

“…How are you aware of that?”

Was he referring to how I called my mother a calamity?

If so, it meant that Father was also aware of my mother’s identity as a calamity.

“I heard it from- “

Swoosh-!

Right as I was about to respond, Father poured out a dense and overwhelming presence. It felt as if my heart had sunk as soon as I felt it.

“Who. Who dared to tell you that information?”

…Shit.

It seemed like Father became infuriated by my statement judging by how hot his heat was getting.

It was just like the heat I felt earlier when Father faced against the White Heavenly Sword.

Why did he become angry?

Is it a problem that I was told that story about my mother?

“…That’s not what’s important here.”

“No, it is, so tell me.”

“…”

He wasn’t going to let this slide until I gave him an answer. I had no choice but to answer, so I started explaining.

“…I heard it from the World Tree, who was supposedly a ruler of a world.”

“…”

Father’s pupils shook when he heard my answer.

The World Tree told me that my father and mother visited the World Tree in the past. That meant that Father was aware of the World Tree’s existence.

Judging by his reaction, that seemed to be true.

“But… how do you know that? Did you actually… “

Father’s big hands grabbed my shoulder.

“Did you visit that place?”

“If you are talking about where the World Tree is, then yes, you are correct.”

He was referring to the false world in which the World Tree was incarcerated.

Father’s expression only became worse as our conversation continued.

Why? Why was he making such expressions?

As I grew increasingly confused, Father spoke.

“You overcoming your wall… Was it also because of that place?”

He was asking if it was because of the Abyss that I was able to reach the Fusion Realm at such a young age.

“It played a part.”

It certainly was a factor in my growth.

Because of the time I was given in that world, I was able to reach the Fusion Realm earlier than I was originally hoping to.

However, Father’s expression grew tighter as I answered his questions.

“No one can willingly enter that world. How did you manage to step foot into that place?”

“…Through a coincidence.”

“How… just how long were you in there for?”

He also seemed to know that time flowed differently in that world.

I thought to myself.

How long exactly did I spend there?

I wasn’t able to come up with an accurate answer as I stopped counting my days after roughly three to four years had passed.

After that, I felt that there was no longer a point in counting.

“I didn’t stay in there for too long.”

I gave him an answer, but he didn’t seem convinced.

What made him make such a serious expression?

Time didn’t matter, it was all the same once I returned to the normal world.

I may have felt hunger and thirst despite it being a false world, but I was able to fill my stomach by hunting down Demons, and their blood was a way for me to solve my thirst.

If a particular Demon’s blood was poisonous and I couldn’t cleanse my body using my Qi, then I simply had to endure the pain.

As long as I didn’t die, there were no problems.

Thanks to that, I was able to reach the Fusion Realm in the end.

Moreover, I was able to return to the normal world with all the enlightenment I gained in the false world.

What was the problem?

I couldn’t understand why Father was showing such an adverse reaction.

I was bothered by it, but I had different questions to ask.

“I heard that you and Mother once visited that place as well.”

“Did she tell you that?”

She? I was strangely a little bothered by the way Father called the World Tree.

“Yes.”

“…She dared to tell you such a needless story.”

I paused, hearing the anger contained in Father’s voice.

The World Tree was once the ruler of the Central Plains in the past, yet Father spoke in a furious tone as if he didn’t care.

“Are you refusing to tell me because Mother truly is a calamity that was sent down to the world?”

“If that’s the case, what will you do about it?”

“Even if that’s true, nothing changes, I need to know.”

“…”

Father stared at me silently for a moment.

Right as I thought he was about to give me an answer…

“I refuse”

“…!”

I ground my teeth after hearing Father’s response.

So he’s refusing to answer even though we came this far?

“Why… I think I deserve some answers after everything I’ve been through.”

I wondered if Father had a Shackle on him that prevented him from speaking, but I doubted that that was the case.

It was only a hunch, but I have never been wrong in situations like these.

As my expression was about to crumble…

“How many regrets have you had in your life?”

Father suddenly asked me something unexpected.

“…Regrets?”

I paused after hearing his sudden question.

Regrets?

How much have I regretted in my life?

“A lot.”

I answered with a hollow smile.

There was no point in thinking about it. My life was full of regrets. I’ve regretted so much that I became tired of it, and yet I had to continue doing it.

Why was Father asking me this question?

“As Lord of the Gu- …No, in my life, I’ve only had a few regrets.”

It was very random of him to bring this up. Not having many regrets huh?

I couldn’t be more jealous.

Without knowing my inner thoughts, Father continued to speak.

“I lived my life mostly without regret. I didn’t think that there was any point in thinking about the past. That’s how I lived, but are you aware of what my few regrets are?”

Father’s regrets?

“…I don’t know.”

There was no way I knew.

When I carefully replied, Father responded as if he was waiting for my answer.

“My regrets are about you and your mother.”

“…!”

Like a dagger, his words stabbed my chest.

I wasn’t expecting that answer.

His regrets are about Mother and I? How could he say that right in front of my face?

“How could you…!”

Right as I was about to shout out in anger…

“I shouldn’t have brought you to your mother that day.”

I lost my words from Father’s statement.

I didn’t expect this.

That day referred to the day Mother disappeared after being devoured by the Abyss.

“That’s- “

“I shouldn’t have sent your mother away like that, and I shouldn’t have let you stay there just because she made a request. That’s my only regret.”

I was enveloped by a strange feeling after hearing Father.

“…Mother’s request?”

Not only that, but he also said that he shouldn’t have sent her away?

That sounds as if Mother left willingly.

“…”

“You brought me there that day because Mother asked you to?

Father gave no response, but I knew that it was a sign of silent affirmation.

What kind of nonsense is this?

I still remember that day vividly. That memory of mine still appears in my head from time to time.

It was a winter night and my hands and ears were red due to the cold.

Mother’s hand was on my cheek as my consciousness was fading away, and Father was standing in front, looking down at me.

I still vividly remember the strange gate to the Abyss that opened behind Mother, as well as the tears that flowed from her eyes.

I mean, how could I forget, that’s the day my life changed into a living hell.

Up until now, I had no doubts that Father was the one who brought me there.

But it was my mother who asked him all along?

I never knew about this.

“I shouldn’t have let you see her in her last moments just because she asked me to.” Because of the moonlight casting a shadow on Father’s face, I couldn’t see his expression clearly.

If what Father said was true…

“Then why are you only telling me this now?” The incident happened in the distant past, it had long passed the appropriate time to tell me..

I lived my whole life believing that my mother ended up in that state because of the damned burden my clan had piled up, and Father’s decisions.

I had become afraid of Father ever since that day, believing that he showed that sight to me on purpose.

Because it seemed as if he was telling me that I would end up like that if I refused to accept the role given to me by the clan.

But if that was all untrue…

“…Shouldn’t you have told me this a lot earlier?”

He was way too late.

Whether his words were true or not, that event changed my life, and it was now an irreversible matter.

“Why did you never tell me this until now? I don’t know about other things, but if you had at least told me about this, then-“

“Then, do you think things would have changed?”

“…”

I couldn’t answer.

I knew that I couldn’t guarantee that things would’ve changed.

Even so…

“…Did you want me to resent you?”

That’s how my past life was.

My life crumbled and I sank to the bottom.

Did Father not know I would end up in that state?

Father took a few breaths after hearing my emotionally charged words.

His breaths felt heavy for some reason.

“Whether it’s humans or any other living things, if they are put into situations they can’t endure…”

His words came out along with his audible breaths.

“They are bound to look for someone to resent.”

His words were more than enough to make my head spin.

“If they do in fact need that someone, wouldn’t it be better for them to resent their incompetent father rather than resent the world they can’t even confront properly?”

“…”

It hurt. I didn’t know where or why it hurt, but it did.

This isn’t what I wanted to hear from him.

I just wanted to know about Mother’s whereabouts.

I wasn’t expecting this sudden confession.

“…It’s contradictory.”

“It is.”

“But even if you showed me generosity, it isn’t fair that you only watched me suffer afterward.”

It was my fault that I began to break down without being able to overcome my pain, but it was also Father who left me in that state, without giving me any support.

“Are you saying that you wanted me to resent you for that as well?”

My words scattered with the breeze.

It felt as if my piled-up emotions poured out all at once, creating a storm.

Where were these emotions hiding, only revealing themselves now?

I thought I succeeded in erasing such pointless emotions, but clearly, that wasn’t true.

I then began to wonder…

If Father helped me when my life was in a downward spiral, would I have really changed?

Such a thing never happened, so I didn’t know the answer to that question.

Even if it meant that I would have changed, I wished for such a thing.

If my wish came true, I would feel too bad for my present self, as I never got to experience such a thing.

So, please…

“Yes.”

I didn’t want Father to stare at me with such eyes any longer.

“That too, is one of my regrets.”

I wanted him to look down at me with his usual cold and sharp gaze.

“I knew that I shouldn’t have done such a thing. It is my fault that I never reached my hand out to you.”

Stop looking at me with those bitter eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“Because of that, I couldn’t send you to your mother. This is my lifelong regret.”

After hearing an unexpected apology from Father, the emotions I was barely holding onto this whole time, finally broke free.

It would have been better if he just said he had no other choice, or he had no time to give me any attention, yet he didn’t say either of those things.

It only made me feel sicker.

I hid my face with my shaking hand.

It wasn’t because tears came out of my eyes, but because I couldn’t look into Father’s eyes.

I would have felt better if he hadn’t apologized to me, even if I continued to resent him for the rest of my life.

How did this situation become like this?

…Ah.

I did not deserve the apology I received from Father.

Was it because of all the troubles I caused up until now? Or was it because he was my father?

No.

That wasn’t it.

There was a much simpler reason.

At the very least.

Really, at the very least.

He shouldn’t have apologized to his son who killed him.

I was reminded of a memory that I had kept sealed deep in my heart.

-Good work.

I was reminded of Father’s last words, and his compliment from earlier as well.

That’s right, Father’s last words.

Father, who was the only person who managed to injure the Heavenly Demon besides Wi Seol-Ah in my past life, met his demise not long after.

The Central Plains obviously believed that the Heavenly Demon was the one responsible for killing him, but that wasn’t the truth.

It wasn’t the Heavenly Demon that killed him.

Father didn’t die at the hands of the Heavenly Demon.

Rather, I was the one who ended my father’s life.